I like to think of myself as an inventor or, better yet, a mad scientist of sorts. I create, dream, and draw blueprints in my head, mostly during restless nights when I have trouble falling asleep.

Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly daring and against the approval of my childhood art teacher, I even sketch my ideas out on paper. Other times, they go straight into the experimentation or production phase. Often, they are not quite what I envisioned, but I send them out into the world as finished works, with their imperfections and all.

I let the masses think what they may and by masses I mean the few fortunate or unfortunate (it really depends on your point of view) folks who stumble unwittingly into my peculiar rabbit hole.

But..

Every so often, I create something that I think is truly ingenious, and by ingenious, I mean truly mad, and by truly mad, I mean something no one else would ever consider wasting time making, and by no one else, I mean most people because there is the slightest possibility that if you are here you are a little bit of a mad scientist yourself or you are just curious about how mad a mad scientist really is and by mad scientist, I don’t mean someone who mixes chemicals in beakers or examines cultures in pettry dishes I mean someone who mixes trash together with scissors and glue.

Did you make it through that last sentence?

Lovely, I am delighted that you are still here.

In fairness to my education, I must state that while my art teacher was kind of a soul-crushing jerk, my English teachers really did try. It’s just that certain rules on grammar and punctuation never sunk in.

And still, I insist on writing words in strings that please me, usually in the form of a run-on sentence.

Anyhow, if you haven’t guessed already, I am pretty proud of my most recent creation.

Do I sound a little too big for my britches?

Well, I just can’t help myself. Seeing my crazy vision come to life made me positively giddy.

Or should I say it made me giddy until this one terrible moment when I presented my laborious handmade gift to the cats.

I was utterly dumbfounded and overwhelmed by the sinking feeling you get when you realize that you have just wasted a colossal amount of time, not to mention the embarrassment of having made a monumental failure.

I mean, look at this.

It’s like that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice grows bigger than the house, or maybe it reminds you of Winnie the Pooh.

Either way, you can imagine my disappointment.

But fear not; this story does have a happy ending, and I assure you that no animals were harmed while conducting this experiment.

It’s as if they found the cookies that said “Eat Me” and made themselves tiny again, or was it the “Drink Me” bottle that made one small? I don’t remember, but suffice it to say I was tremendously relieved to see that they could fit themselves inside.

I even heard what sounded like a tall tale from the hubby that both cats were in the bed at the same time. It’s positively inconceivable. And sadly, there is no photographic evidence, but I have no reason to believe it isn’t true.

But shall I back up to the beginning?

I must warn you that this is not a tale for the faint of heart, or for those who are irrationally fearful of semi-sharp objects, or for the particularly sober, for that matter.

The journey begins with nearly 300 drink cans. Some were soda cans, but let’s be honest: In our case, most contained beer, which we collected and emptied over several months in deference or indifference to our kidneys and livers. It all depends on how you look at it, really.

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Looking at the design of this cat bed might cause you to question my claim, but there really are nearly 300 rims from 300 aluminum cans used in this design. The trick is to remove the top of the can. My preferred method for doing this is to use a tool called Draft Top.

Then, you can cut off the top portion of the can and remove the excess metal from the rim, leaving you with a small aluminum ring.

Repeat this process with intermittent drinking to achieve the required number of rings.

If you are particularly concerned about the rest of the can, you needn’t worry—the cans did not go to waste. I have used the rest of the pieces for similar craziness, like small insect sculptures, jewelry, and even a trash fashion wedding dress. But those are different stories.

Where was I?

Oh yes, we are in the beer-drinking and ring/rim removal stage.

If you are interested in more details on how I break down aluminum cans into the four pieces I use most often for my crafting projects/experiments, you can watch this video.

Once I removed the rims from the cans, I doubled them up using metal tape to make them more sturdy and to hide the scratchy edge on the inside.

The next step was to tie the rings together around the beach ball. I used crochet thread, but any string would work.

For the entrance of the cat bed, I removed a piece from a metal coffee can with a safe-cut can opener so there were no sharp edges on the metal.

If you have never heard of safe-cut can openers, well, let me tell you they are wonderful kitchen and crafting gadgets. That is if you like to craft with tin cans, which I do.

But onward, to finish the sphere shape I used more crochet thread and tied the ring in place.

Once all the rings were tied together, the structure was pretty wobbly. So, I wrapped small pieces of metal tape around each knot to stabilize the shape and keep the connections from slipping.

Then, it was time to finish the edges and make the shape sturdy enough to support the weight of the cats.

For this step, I chose a different sort of trash—the pesky plastic bag.

You may not know this, but you can spin rope from plastic bags. If you would like to learn how, watch this.

This step was long and repetitive and mostly done while watching Netflix. It entails spinning some plastic bag rope, then wrapping the can ring frame, spinning and wrapping, etc.

So, after several hours of binge-watching another forgettable dystopian drama to keep me awake at night, I finished wrapping the sphere shape and began puzzling over how to make the feet.

I was determined not to spend anything on creating this project. It was a little self-challenge of sorts. (Please don’t tell the cats they are moody and easily offended.)

So, I was delighted when the answer to my quandary presented itself in our backyard.

Perhaps I need to back up a bit here and inform you of the other residents in our household.

Yes, there really are four of them.

I must admit to a general lack of interest in yard maintenance during the winter months, and as such, our yard had become a treasure trove of dilapidated dog toys, most importantly, worn-out tennis balls.

Which after a bath, hot glue, E6000 glue, and more plastic bag rope made four perfect feet to steady the ball bed.

Then there was more Netflix watching, plastic bag rope making, and hot glue gluing to make a more solid base for the inside of the bed.

But I still needed a soft plushy pad.

Again, the dogs proved to be very helpful. Destructive? Messy? It is all in one’s perspective of things.

So I gathered up the one-legged teddy bear, the faceless lamb chop, the unstuffed sock monkey, and any other maimed plushy creatures I could find.

And after a good washing and drying, I stitched them all together in a hodgepodge patchwork of furry reconstructed faces, placed my plushy puzzle inside the cat bed, and began contemplating my next crafting adventure.

And that, my friends, is what I think about when I am drifting off to sleep at night. It’s either that or the Netfix-induced fear of the looming end of civilization as we know it, so for obvious reasons, I prefer to think about trash.

Cheers, and Happy Upcycling,

Cindy

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